A Word or Two about Words OR Old Man Yells at Cloud

Tags

brains, cars, commercials, driving, free advice, observations, phones

When you are a fan of the National Pastime on the radio as I am you get get used to being flooded, bombarded and inundated with commercials.

Today’s lesson kids is about car commercials.

Recently I’ve noticed and maybe this goes back further than I can recall but marketing cars today has spawned some strange new words and phrases that I’m not entirely familiar with although I was able to figure out who’s who and what’s what.  For example:

Car company A has an auto that carries onboard Lane Drift Alerts.  Stay in your lane buddy or there will be consequences.

Company B preaches the wonderfulness of a “Pedestrian Avoidance” system and not be outdone it also has some kind of gizmo called ” Collision Alert.”

So, basically your new Oldsmobile is a riding and rolling radar unit emitting who knows what kind of gamma and x-rays in all directions to make sure you don’t run over anyone or smack into that Pierce-Arrow that just slammed on the brakes in front of you.

Maybe there should be a ” Put down your cell phone” minder in the car too which would alleviate the need for all the above mentioned gadgets and wizardry.

Oh yeah, turns out we also have our own onboard pedestrian alert, lane drift and collision avoidance system already built in.

It’s called your “Brain” so open your eyes, put down the phone and take those buds out of your ears Bud.

And now back to Ted and Larry with the play by play…

 

The Ultimate in Window Tinting

Tags

car, driving, window

We’ve all seen the unfortunate results of a car with a side window busted out.  The owner of the car resorts to patching the hole with duct tape and a trash bag to keep out the elements.

I saw a car this morning with the passenger window missing and the usual trash bag fix applied.

What made this particular remedy a bit dicey is that the trash bag was not clear plastic but jet black in color and still installed where the passenger window used to be while the car and it’s driver were negotiating traffic on West Walnut Street.

Kinda limits your peripheral vision I’d say.  I got away from that car  as quickly as I could being sure not to make any sudden movements.  Of course, how would the other driver know?

Don’t try this at home or on the road especially when I’m in the lane next to you.

 

Taking Texting and Driving to a Whole New Level

Tags

cellphones, driving, texting

This is a true story.  I say this because I was there and witnessed it with me own two eyes.

I’m driving down Pleasure Road (yes, that’s really the name of the street) on my way to the supermarket minding my own business.  In my rear view mirror I see a woman with a cellphone mounted on the dashboard of her car.  It’s vertical so I know it’s a phone and I think, OK – she’s using it as a gps unit.

Then I see her looking at the phone and talking to it.  I realize she is Facetiming while driving.  This is interesting but not good.

NOT only is she using Facetime, she is communicating with the face on the other end of the line with ASL.  American Sign Language !

Now, when you use ASL your hands are pretty busy.  When you are driving a car your hands are pretty busy too.  So, doing the math – where are your hands if you are using ASL when you are driving?  That’s right – NOT on the steering wheel.

At this point I switch lanes and get out of her way as she motors up Rt. 501 still gesturing at the phone.  I hope it was important.

 

 

Texting and Driving

Tags

cellphones, driving, texting

Hey folks – A variation on the theme.  I am not making this up.  

File under : Accident waiting to happen.  

I’m tooling down on the road when I notice in my rearview mirror the following:

    A woman driving a Honda Element.  So far so good.

    Cell phone mounted on the dashboard facing her.  People do that all the time for maps, gps, etc…Nothing unusual yet.

    She is Facetiming while driving.  This is starting to get interesting.  She is making eye contact with her phone while we’re both moving.  This is starting to get dangerous.

    She is Facetiming on the phone AND using ASL.  She is signing for a hearing impaired person at the other end of the cellphone.  This is really starting to get dangerous because not only is she not paying attention she doesn’t have her hands on the steering wheel.

    She is clearly not giving much attention to her driving or the car in front of her, namely me, so I change lanes and get way out of the way before I become an unpleasant statistic and have my whole day ruined.

Sometimes too much technology can be a bad thing.