I have this Friend

I have this friend who told me the following story…

Last night in his dream he was reading the Sunday comics.  In all the strips there was a wall clock showing the exact local time he was reading the paper.

Read” Blondie” at 8 am, the clock reads 8 am.

Read ” Dilbert” at 9 am, the clock says 9 am.

Read ” Blondie again at 10 am, the clock shows 10 am.

And on and on.

He asked me what that meant.

I don’t know.


Spring Break at the Place

They had taken to calling their favorite coffee shop by the name ” The Place.”  It was much easier than saying the whole name every time.  Eventually ” The Place” would morph into being called just ” There” as ” I’ll meet you There” but that was a couple of months down the road.

For now The Place was deserted because the college was on Spring Break and everyone who could get away left town.  International students (too far from home for a brief 7 day trip) and lacrosse players ( women and men) stayed because their seasons were just ramping up.  Everyone else was solid gone.

Their absences led to more parking available on campus and the surrounding neighborhood streets.  And the Place had settled into a relaxing rhythm of not being a jammed and over crowded cacophony.

The mid -March afternoon sun was warm, not quite warm enough to enjoy coffee outside but sure as heck wonderful sitting in front of a full floor to ceiling window facing west.

Everyone seemed more relaxed with the reduced size of the crowd although for sure it affected the joint’s bottom line.

It was a peaceful afternoon which would have been more peaceful had everyone not known of the blizzard that was about to descend sometime after the sun went down.

There was a fiftieth high school reunion on the horizon which was a dramatic demarcation point in one’s life to be sure. Fifty years?  It reminded him of a phrase he once heard spoken by someone at a wake,” The days are long but the years are short.”  Fifty years!

For now they were just waiting for the sun to go down and for the snow to start falling and wondering what the world would look like tomorrow outside their front doors.


April in February

The weather around here lately has been downright insane.  It’s mild, it’s warm, it’s getting hot and I remind you it’s only late February.

And while the warmth is enjoyable it creates a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something, somehow, somewhere just ain’t right here on the mothership but that’s not a surprise to most of us anymore.

The temps have been pleasant, people are tooling around town in their Volvos with windows rolled down, although when was the last time you actually rolled down a window?

Those car window crank jobs are gone and they aren’t coming back.  All hail the little electric window motors which are probably made overseas anyway.

I stopped into one of my favorite establishments on the way to work yesterday afternoon and what I found caused me to immediately doubt the future of the human race on this planet.  Reminder – it’s February, maybe low 70’s, bright sun, blue sky and…

And, and – The air conditioning is running in the joint!!!  February, second month of the year up here in the mid Atlantic region, 4 weeks to the official first day of spring and these guys are running the AC.

If 70 degrees drives us to initiate artificial cooling then I’ve lost faith in anyone’s ability to cope with a little discomfort.  What discomfort?  It’s 70 delightful degrees.

What would Teddy Roosevelt make of air conditioning on a fine, albeit early, spring day?

He would be appalled I tell you and probably agree with my concern for what’s left of common sense on the planet.

It’s a travesty I tell you.  A mockery, a sham. A shamockery.

People please come to your senses, learn how to not only suck it up but how to appreciate what a gift a 70 degree day in February is.

Thank you.  I feel better now.




A True Weather Story & Breaking News, Sorta…

For most of you in the great Northeast, the Metroplex, the Tri -State Area, the Metro Area, the Valley etc…the weather this week has been weird to the point where it’s gotten pretty spooky.

Today, this afternoon, we had serious thunderstorms roll in with dark clouds, high winds, driving rain and watches and warnings for tornadoes.

My phone was buzzing with texts about getting to shelter immediately which I did.  I checked online for my local tv weather news and clicked on a link for a radar map because I simply wanted to know when exactly that line of deep red and deep purple was going to be over my head.

I click the link.  The circle that indicates loading circles and circles and circles and then…Presto – I get a shampoo commercial before the map loads.  I have to sit through 30 seconds of why their shampoo is better for my hair than whatever cheap crap I use.  Precious seconds tick by.

Meanwhile the rain is rainin’, the storm is stormin’, the wind is windin’, my phone is buzzin’ and I’m stuck in limbo watching an attractive smiling woman wash her hair and I think that this would be an interesting last image to have in my brain if the worst should happen but certainly not my first choice.  As if you really do get a say in those matters, anyway…

Luckily, the worst didn’t occur and I hope nothing awful does as the storm and the shampoo commercials push further east.

You would think that someone at the station or web desk would have the good sense to suspend things that aren’t important when there are things that are important happening but no.

I’m off to my local super market to stock up on more cheap shampoo before the next storm hits.


The News

Let’s see, what’s in the news…

One of the President’s possible choices for the FDA ( Food and Drug Administration) thinks drug companies should be able to skip clinical trials that would prove their drugs actually work.

It is now legal to pollute streams with run off from coal mines.  My congressman voted in favor of that law.  Thanks, Lloyd.

Anyone else having trouble sleeping through the night?