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The words ” I am and I’m” are not happy.  When asked about the reason for their unhappiness ” I’m” spoke for both of them.

” We’re being phased out of business” said the unhappy pronoun.  ” Hardly anyone uses us anymore in the Twitter world.  Our usage has fallen off the charts”

” It’s all because Twitter has a finite number of spaces to offer, which, and I have this on good authority they could easily increase to include me and my buddy.”

” How many Tweets do you read that start with ” Proud to stand with Joe, or Blessed to have Ed as my friend or Happy to be at the local bar/ coffee shop/ whatever?  All of them I tell you and where are I am or I’m?  We are nowhere to be found.”

” The word blessed used to be only a church word.  It was very happy as such and now it’s thrown around like a rag doll.  We worked long and hard to get our positions of authority at the beginning of declarative sentences and now look.  Zap, we’ve vanished.”

When asked how I am and I’m could regain their lofty status once more I am merely sighed and said, ” Well, I can always find work on bags of dog food but I have to be all capitals and add an S to make it work.  I’m is out of luck.”

Finally, both words issued a joint statement asking Twitter to submit to an arbitration hearing chaired by the book “The Elements of Style.”  They were not optimistic.

” You have to wonder who is next to go” said I’m noting that ” The word Your besides being confused with yore and you’re was running for it’s life from UR.”

” It’s a travesty.  Who is this ur guy?  He’s a word made up solely for convenience because people are lazy and cheap.  Ur is from ancient Babylonia or someplace like that.  Ur is a place.”

” You’ll miss us when we’re gone said I’m.  I am agreed.  Now, please excuse us while we update our Facebook page.”

 

 

 

 

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