In a stunning news release today the Hollywood Foreign Press Association announced that it was closing up shop and leaving the United States.
” We don’t know exactly where we’ll end up,” said spokesman Jean Pierre La France.
When asked to clarify the reason for the abrupt announcement Jean Pierre had this to say:
” Well, you only have to look at the second word in the name of our organization and that should tell you all you need to know.”
” If Donald Trump becomes President he will for sure have us all deported, n’est pas?” “So we thought we would be, how you say, pro -act -eeve and get out before we get tossed.”
He continued, ” We were looking at moving to Texas which is rumored to be in favor of seceding from the US. The only problem is that Canadian born, half Cuban, half American Ted Cruz is a Senator from Texas. Explain that one to me if you can.”
“If Texas says au revoir to the US then he’s out of a job. Maybe he returns to Texas and become emperor or king . The French know all about emperors and kings. Been there, done that. No thanks.”
He continued, ” Besides, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is a scam. There are only two of us left, moi and Carlos. We have an office in a low rent district off La Cienega and frankly we’re getting tired of pretending that movies, tv shows and celebrities are important and in any way contribute to society.”
” Carlos wants to move back to Barcelona, more so now after his last paycheck bounced and I’m thinking of pack backing through Europe. Apparently I missed that stage of my development when I got out of college so I’m off to see the old world. Anyway,you really can’t get good coffee here in LA and the service is terrible.”
“The Golden Globes name is now for sale if anyone is interested. Unfortunately it’s as popular as the Miss Universe Pageant, Miss World, Wild Card Weekend and Ryan Seacrest. It’s a dud and we’re tired of beating a dead horse. It should be buried along with Must See TV.”
There was no comment from others in the entertainment industry with foreign sounding names including Sergio Franchi, Senor Wences and Topo Gigio.