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Monthly Archives: March 2015

An Awkward Reconciliation Of Sorts Which Results In A Run

28 Saturday Mar 2015

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blog, run, shrink

Authors note: A work of fiction, maybe, and in which the benefits of running are realized.

The setting: A warm March afternoon in your hometown.  The sky is blue, clear and untroubled.  The air is fresh with springtime optimism.  It’s a day where one has no where to go and all day to get there.  It’s that kind of day.  Lights up and cue…

She looked worried as he approached.

” What’s up” he asked.

” I have to tell a story which is true. I’m struggling to process it and figure out what it means.”  He nodded and she went on.

“I got a call from someone I had a serious falling out with 10 years ago and even now the thought of what I went through then makes me queasy and uncomfortable.  I resolved that relationship was way over and I never wanted to even think about it again.”

” He invited me for coffee and I thought well, why not?  Clearly he has something to say and I thought well, he reached out and the least I can do is listen to what he has to say.”

” And what did he say?”

” It was kind of odd.  We didn’t talk at all about the thing that blew us apart.  He talked about his life and where it was going, about his getting older and after a while I thought he was kind of apologizing for what happened way back when. But not really.  It seemed he was unburdening himself and thinking out loud at the same time.  I know he has people to talk to about these things but I kept wondering why did he chose me and why now.”

” So, after about five minutes when I figured out that this was mostly going to be about him I shifted strictly into listening mode. I was determined not to reveal much about my feelings in what I did say. I’m like that you know. I tried my best to be sympathetic but I just couldn’t cross the line to be genuinely involved.  I guess I’m a terrible person.”

He let her continue.

“So I listened and listened. When I did offer feedback he just brushed it off and kept plowing on.  After a while I started wishing that I was somewhere else.  I know that much about myself and so when that I -don’t -want -to- be –here- anymore- feeling surfaced I looked for a way to excuse myself and leave.”

“I found a convenient spot in the one way conversation to exit and left.  As I was leaving I thought – Buddy – you’d better get a journal or a shrink or a blog (heh, heh) and get these issues resolved without me.  So much for my milk of human kindness I suppose.  I’m not angry about what happened anymore – I just don’t want to deal with it.  Maybe I need a journal or a shrink or a blog.  Ha! I know that I left the conversation feeling unsettled and that shadow is still following me today.”

He thought for a minute and said,” Well, one day’s distance is not a whole lot of time to process what you experienced.  I think that you should go for a run and clear your head. Running always helps when things get murky and confusing.

I have no idea why he chose now or why ever but it was important for him to speak with someone he once knew well and who knew him pretty well too.  I guess he was looking for a safe place to land and you were it.  You are a good listener and maybe that’s all he needed.  You are not a terrible person.”

” Really?”

“Yes, really. I think you gave a lot of yourself in just listening.  Maybe you are disturbed in realizing how much that opened you up yesterday and you don’t like that feeling. Go run.”

” You could be, could very well possibly be right about that. No, you are absolutely correct. Sometimes I’m too complex for my own good and sometimes I’m such a simpleton that I wonder how I made it this far. I can be a real idiot but yesterday I was trying to do the right thing and all I ended up with was a sleepless night and now I’m dumping all over you.”

” Not dumping, you’re talking and I’m listening.  Big difference. Go run.”

” You know what?  I feel as though I need to run, literally.  Thanks.”

That Feeling

26 Thursday Mar 2015

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breathing, Running, Spring

You know that feeling I’m talking about.  When the finish line comes into view and you somehow, somewhere find another gear.

You dig in and your hips push open, you get taller, up on your toes and your breathing goes so deep you’re sure that you are about to explode.

It’s deep, your lungs fill and empty with every stride.  Each one gets a little longer, each breath goes deeper than the last and you feel like you could run through a brick wall.  Feet?  Nowhere near the ground.  You’re flying.

Yeah, that feeling.  I’ve missed it. Had a hint of it today and it woke up muscles and memories of running hard and running fast.

Crossing the finish line and struggling to catch your breath even though it doesn’t really matter because you know eventually will but the ecstasy of being winded beyond belief is worth the effort and energy.

Hands on knees, hands over your head, smiling and struggling to get your breathing back to normal.  Ha – what’s normal?  I’m a runner.

Smiles all around.

That feeling.  I sensed it it today in a hint of spring air.  Got a really good dose of it.

This is gonna be a great spring and a terrific summer.  Lace ’em up kids, we’ve got miles ahead of us.

Hey, You Big Jerk

10 Tuesday Mar 2015

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bad mood, good mood, Running


Went to bed grumpy.  Woke up in an even worse mood.

Went for a run even though I had to drag and push myself out the door.  About a mile in a voice inside my head said and I quote,

” Hey, you big jerk – This is just what you needed.”

Yes, indeed.

Goodbye grumpy, hello sunshine and flowers.  Ain’t nothing like a run to cure what ails ya.

You’re welcome.

images

A Dilemma

09 Monday Mar 2015

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shovel, snow, Spring

Every year I make it a sure point to put a small snow shovel in my car sometime in late November.  It’s an easy call to add a shovel to the car.  The weather is turning colder, the days are growing shorter.  November equals shovel. Easy.

The big question now that we have had one glorious warm and sunny day is when do I remove said snow shovel and return it to it’s rightful spot in the garage?

I’m not going to jump the gun and do it tomorrow but it sure is tempting to tempt winter isn’t it?  I’ll keep the shovel in the car for a few more days.

Never hit on 17 when you play against the dealer or the Winter.  St. Patty’s Day might be the appropriate time.  Any suggestions?

A Message

09 Monday Mar 2015

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“Hello, this is Spring.

I can’t take your call right now but if you leave a message at the beep I’ll get back to you in about three weeks.  Have a nice day.”

Alas and Alack – A Correlation?

04 Wednesday Mar 2015

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alack, alas, Patriots Day, Running, snow, Winter

First of all – I feel like I’m living inside one of these:imgresThis must be what living in Helsinki is all about, or Spitsbergen or anywhere above the Arctic circle.

The correlation I have come upon is my lack of creative writing and my lack of running.  Alas.

Alas and alack.

Trudge on hearty Patriots Day runners.

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