Got a call from a telemarketer yesterday telling me that as a valued customer of my electric company I was eligible for a major discount on the price of my electricity.

I said, and I swear this is true… I said, ” We don’t have electricity.”

What you don’t have electricity?


How do you cook?

Gas stove.

How do you wash your clothes, how do you shower?

We use the creek out back.

Stay warm?


How do you watch tv?


And it went on and on.  This poor person was incredulous I could live without electricity.  She couldn’t bring herself to deviate from her script and use any common sense.

No doubt she had been trained to confront customer resistance by asking questions.  At some point I suppose she thought she was bound to overcome my objections.

In a sense of fair play and to not be mean anymore I finally asked to be removed from the Do Not Call list which I have been on for 25 years.

Try it.  It’s like Improv.  Tell your next telemarketer that you don’t have a phone.