She said, ” Since you appear to be fearless in sharing stories I have one to tell you and it’s one that’s I have never told anyone before.”

He sat silently knowing that she needed to and wanted to talk.

” In the years before I got married I used to keep a journal which is a fancy and more hip emotional way to say I had a diary.  I took it everywhere and it was in many ways my best friend.  After I got married and we settled in I stopped writing for a couple of reasons.  One because I thought that my spouse would be the same kind of sounding board that my journal had become and two it seemed that I would be keeping secrets from him if I was writing things that I didn’t share.”

He was still silent and glad that he had learned to keep his mouth shut.

” As  the marriage went south I found that I had no one to talk with and without the journal I really had no one to talk with.  Anyway, when it all went to hell I was really hurt, devastated you know.  I started writing again and that’s what saved me and keep up my faith in the human race.”  

“Now I can’t remember if I wrote this or I saw this quote somewhere but it went like this : Time is measured in terms of pain not felt.  The point being pretty obvious that the pain lessened as time passed and that was my measuring stick to get through the day.  I almost felt guilty when I started to feel happy again.  How weird is that? “

“I thought that was an interesting way to look at things because, as I’m sure know, sometimes the pain is all you have and to let go of it is to admit that the relationship is really over and it ain’t comin’ back.  Then at some point you say it’s time to suck it up and move on which I did and which leads me to being here with you right now spilling my guts over a cold cup of coffee.  There, I’m done.”

Leaning back in his chair he tried to take it all in and said, ” Moving on is a big step and so is letting go of the past especially when you think that the only thing you have going for you is the past.  What happened happened and what didn’t happen…”

She said ” I gotta go” sensing that she had opened up far too much to someone she had just met.  But in taking a chance she also realized that the old hurts and disappointments were finally being cut loose.  No longer were they going to be a part of who she was or what she relied on to define herself.  

As they were leaving she asked, ” Do you want to drive? After all you paid for the gas.”

 

 

 

 

 

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